Life Is A Journey That Never Ends~

Monday, July 6, 2009

fuhhh~

i miss you,
so i wear the tshirts u gave me

i miss you,
so i hug encek kura2 that u gave me

i miss you,
so i drive around kl, taking the route we used to take when u were driving me around

i miss you,
so i glance up to your room every time i pass by

i miss you,
so i had to log out of facebook so i didn't browse your page

i miss you,
so i didn't topup my maxis prepaid bcause i am afraid i will text you

i miss you,
so i didn't charge my celcom phone so the battery remains low so i cannot call you

i miss you.

Labels: ramblings

posted by whitypie @ 10:03 PM 0 comments

Saturday, June 20, 2009

the thousandth time

there

i have deleted almost all my entries. living only a few that i think is worth keeping.

i started this blog in 2007. then i made another public blog in 2008. this blog is like my secret place..i wrote things that i wanna let out but am too afraid to let my social circle finds out. for fear of starting an argument, a fight or a cold war with certain people which i cannot bear.

as i read back the entries before deleting them, i realised (not that i didn't know this before) that i have been wounded and bleed time and time again. the story is much or less the same. i didn't grow out of this, despite the lengthy 2 years.

here i am, writing with mixed emotion. with tears streaming down my face. with puffy eyes for crying the whole night long. with throbbing headache for not able to sleep last night. the reason is still the same old one. the one which everyone is tired to listen to. the one which i loath myself for feeling or even thinking about.

didn't i vowed that i will move on. didn't i promised myself that i will not cry because of this anymore. didn't i prayed hard enough to not ever have to feel this way? i did. but why the hell i am still like this..??? at the same spot as i was 2 years ago. only now, i am worse. i don't mean anything at all..to anybody. he doesn't give a damn about me. my mom is too busy to speak to me. erna didn't pick up the phone. farah didn't pick up and didn't reply my messages either. my room mates have no word for me. even lala didn't know what to say. i don't have a boyfriend i can turn to. my guy friends are mostly off-limit.

what do i do? when it hurts so much but i have no one to turn to..

i begged you, to not do this to me. to wait at least until we graduate. haven't i given you enough to deserve a lil consideration. you disappoint me. and hurt me too bad for the thousandth time..

Labels: :(

posted by whitypie @ 11:17 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

hAppY nEw yeAr~

"if u love someone, set him free..if he comes back, then he is yours. if he doesnt, he never was.."

this was a saying i learnt long time ago..back in my secondary school. the painting with this quote was hung on the wall of my homeroom. come to think about it...the saying was rite afterall. wasn't it?

this new year, i will have to try to get rid of him from my system. he has been occupying every vessel, every compartment for 3 long years now. it's going to be tough work..to erase every memory, every thought n every piece of him. lets hope i dun give up on this resolution k..saying this does not mean i forgot my words to him..a promise is still a promise. as long as i remember, i'm so not gonna break it. let time decides..meanwhile..dear G0d..plz gv me strength~

Labels: ::you can fall in love in an instant, it's letting go that takes time::

posted by whitypie @ 7:07 PM 1 comments

Monday, December 31, 2007

an0ther year flown by..but i am stil..ME~

t0p 7 memories of 2007

:: i entered 3rd year..it was exciting n fun but only God knows h0w hard it was t0 pull through~

:: community posting; where i learnt the true colors of people around me~

:: i blurted out my biggest secret t0 one person whom should never ever know..did i regret?

:: f0r the 1st time, i flunk an exam..huh~ but maybe there are things t0 learn fr0m this..hurmm~

:: i f0und out that my girls are really, angels without wings..luv u girls..a whole, whole LOT~

:: gath with girls fr0m school..then 0nly i knew h0w much i miss them~

:: the C-day (sigh)

Labels: ::g00dbye 2007::

posted by whitypie @ 11:45 AM 0 comments

Saturday, December 29, 2007

dear g0d..plz give me strength~

hurmmm~

there...i feel it again. deep in my heart..that familliar ache..gosh..how come it never gets any better? plz dear g0d...gv me strength s0 i won't give up..at least n0t yet..

one day when i finally give up..i'll make u a part of my good memories~

Labels: ::aching::

posted by whitypie @ 1:44 AM 0 comments

Thursday, December 27, 2007

saying the rite thing, at the rite time, to get the rite effect~

"it's ok..i dun mind. u go ahead..have fun ya.."

i said that too many times already..until i made myself believe that i really dun mind..that it's ok to leave me alone whenever u like n come back whenever u need me. i told u i'll alwiz be around..gave u my word..i suppose i hv to keep the promise, even if u dun remember it at all.

i chose to be hurt..so that u would be ok. i like to see u smile with that twinkle in your eyes. i like to see u laugh n shake your head later. if i didnt do wut i did..will i still be able to see all those again..?

21 long years have taught me that i dun get the things that i wanted most..

21 long years have taught me to accept feelings as they are and that it is useless trying to deny wut i feel inside..

21 long years have taught me to smile during summer or winter, rain or shine..

21 long years have taught me that friendship is the best relation i can ever asked for..

21 long years have taught me that girls are stronger than boys; we can still smile even when our heart bleeds inside..

21 long years have taught me that we can alwiz love someone n not be loved back but we still feel that it's alrite..

21 long years have taught me that after all the things u said n done..i will still like u the way i alwiz do

Labels: ::i will alwiz be around::

posted by whitypie @ 12:45 PM 1 comments

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

lessons throughout my journey~

i have found 2 different ways to hurt people::either by telling the truth or a lie::i prefer the truth::bcoz lies stink more when revealed~

lesson no. 2::ignorance hurts but silence can kill~

lesson no. 3::dun fight wif ur gals bcoz of a guy, bcoz in the end, it's ur gals who will hv ur back~

lesson no. 4::v hv to let ppl mk mistake so that they wil learn::at least i think so~

lesson no. 5::u cant stop::fine::but havta learn to control::kan?

lesson no. 6::n0 matter hw hard u wish f0r sumthing, n0 matter hw l0ng u pray for da thing t0 happen::things juz dun happen as u wish it t0 b::i guess law of attraction didnt w0rk afterall~

lesson no. 7::spare urself from going nuts by nt thinking t0o much::spare urself fr0m aching deep d0wn by nt h0ping at alL::i learnt that fr0m him~

lesson no. 8::tElL uRsElF sUmtHing 0Ver n 0vEr aGain n u'Ll bLieVe iT's tRuE~

lesson no. 9::i recalled wut my daddy said long2 time ago::u dun alwiz get wut u want::n0 matter h0w bad u want it~

lesson no. 10::a wh0le l0t of sacrifices are required t0 maintain a wonderful friendship~

Labels: ::lessons::

posted by whitypie @ 1:46 PM 0 comments

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